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Your Favorite Hunting Jokes

 
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NJean
Memory Maker
Memory Maker


Joined: 25 Sep 2003
Posts: 77
Location: Lapeer

PostPosted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 7:32 am    Post subject: Your Favorite Hunting Jokes Reply with quote

What is the definition of Vegetarian?
BAD HUNTER Laughing
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theeislandgirl
Resident Royalty
Resident Royalty


Joined: 04 Jan 2003
Posts: 1685
Location: Texas

PostPosted: Wed Nov 15, 2006 11:04 pm    Post subject: hunting jokes Reply with quote

This sounds fun .. I have no hunting jokes so I will just sit back and read .. Very Happy
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bknoll
Pines Paramour
Pines Paramour


Joined: 02 Oct 2002
Posts: 317
Location: Linden, Michigan

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

O.K......here's one. Kind of long so be patient.

One year, a buddy and myself decided at the last minute to head north to rifle hunt. We actually left the day before season started, drove around the Gaylord area and looked for what we thought would be a good area to hunt. We knew that this would involve knocking on some doors and that we might be out of luck.

After being turned down a few times, we came across a nice farm that had some good hardwood ridges on it that looked ideal for deer. It was my turn to go and ask so I did. A very old man came to the door. I introduced myself and inquired about the potential of hunting his land. He was very open to this idea as he said he had way too many deer around there anyways. He did ask a favor of me though before we headed to the woods. Hope this doesn't upset the horse lovers, but he asked me to "put down" his horse. He explained that the horse was very old and the vet bills would be too large and probably not do the trick. I reluctantly told him that I would shoot his horse. He explained that it was in the barn, behind his house.

My friend (Boyd...the guy in the truck) and I often pull jokes on one another. I got to thinking on the way back to the truck that this may be a great opportunity for one of those jokes.

When I returned to the truck, Boyd asked how it went. I told him that it did not go well. I told him that some old guy answered the door with a gun and was swearing at me, telling to get the heck off of his land and that he'd shoot first and ask questions later if he saw us again! Boyd was very disappointed to hear this, since we had been turned away at a few other places already. He asked me what we should do now. I went to the back of the truck and grabbed by gun and told Boyd to grab his as well. He had no idea what was going on and was getting a bit wide eyed. He asked me what I was up to. I replied to Boyd, "I'm gonna go shoot his horse!" Boyd couldn't believe it but followed me to the barn nonetheless. We were sneaking behind trees, rolling from spot to spot until we found the barn. Keep in mind that the old guy wants me to shoot his horse anyways but Boyd doesn't know this! We went into the barn and I saw the horse...it was looking very sickly. I was not excited about doing this at all. Boyd asked me again if I was really going to do it. I said, "You bet your .&$^#%!!" I raised my gun and fired one shot into the horse but at the same time heard to loud shots coming from behind me. I looked back at Boyd. His eyeballs were about popping out of his head and his gun was smoking! I asked, "What in the heck did you do, Boyd?!?!" He responded by saying; "I got two of his cows!!!!"
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bknoll
Pines Paramour
Pines Paramour


Joined: 02 Oct 2002
Posts: 317
Location: Linden, Michigan

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now here's a true one! Pulled this one on "Big Al" on the island about 5 or 6 years ago.

We were up for our annual bow hunt on the island and we had the pleasure of having "Big Al" in camp with us. He's a very warmhearted guy who is a lot of fun but ole Al gets grumpy from time to time.

One afternoon, Pete and I were a bit bored waiting to go out for the evening hunt. Big Al was taking a nap on the bottom bunk in one of the bedrooms. We thought this would be the perfect opportunity to have Al on the receiving end of one of our pranks.

Al has some vending machines so he brought up some snacks with him for everybody. Some of those snacks happened to be Snickers Bars.

The cabin that we stay at has outdoor plumbing. However, Bill made a beautiful indoor potty for those late night emergencies when you don't want to take the trip outside and risk running into those things that go bump in the night. It's a nice wooden stool with a pot inside of it.....it sits about 2 foot high, just about head heighth if one was laying on the bottom bunk!

Well, we always have some tea kettles of water boiling away on the woodstove for some humidity in the cabin. We thought we'd take a Snickers bar, put it in the potty, poor the hot water over top of it and slide it close to Big Al's head while he was napping. The effects were amazing as this did look pretty dang close to the real thing! Pete slid the potty in to the bedroom and it was at perfect eye level! It was steaming too!

We made some loud noise in the cabin to wake Al, and let me just say that the noise that we made paled in comparison to the things that came flying out of Big Al's mouth when he woke up! He was going off...said it was the grossest thing he's every seen, it wasn't funny, etc. etc. etc. Pete calmly walked into the bedroom and asked Al what the problem was as he reached into the pot and took a bite of the snickers!!!! You should have seen his face! He realized then that it was a joke and what was going on....I think our sides hurt for a week we laughed so hard!

Hope I didn't gross any of the ladies out...just some insight into the antics of deer camp!
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